So, I was having a chat with a good friend of mine when the topic of age and the psychology of dating later in life came up. Thinking back to the discussion brought such a smile to my face, you know – one of those ear to ear grins that only comes about after many faithful trips to the cosmetic dentist. So, thought I’d share it with you.
When you’re in your teenage years dating is cute and fun. Then you get in your 20s and it’s almost like a continuation of your adolescent years because anything goes. However, by the time you get in your 30s, most of your friends are married and you can’t get away with playing the type of games you played in your 20s.
What’s different about your 30s? Once you hit your 30s, if you haven’t gotten married yet, a new level of realization kicks; your biological clock starts ticking and all of a sudden that voice starts telling you things are urgent. Not to mention your parents and family start sending hints that you should be married. So here are four tips to help you navigate around the bumps and bruises of dating in your 30s.
Be transparent with relationship goals. Whether the person you’re dating is in their 30s like you or not doesn’t matter. Either way, it’s best for everyone involved if you’re 100% honest with potential partners about your relationship goals. If marriage is not a goal don’t lead the other person to believe it’s a priority for you.
On the other hand, if you haven’t quite gotten that younger self out of your system and you’re still having fun be honest about that too. After all, you don’t want to be that 40 something still dating the same person 10 or 15 years later – pretending like you’re getting married when it’s the furthest thing from your mind, right?
Age is nothing but a number. At the end of the day like Aaliyah once said, ‘Age ain’t nothing but a number’, but what does that mean to anyone dating in their 30s? Don’t become so fixated on your age or your partner’s age that your fears become self-fulfilling properties.
If you’ve ever heard the term ‘fake it til you make it’, the age thing is very similar. You may be in your 30’s but you don’t have to shout it to the world. Make sense?
Let go of the past. If we can be honest, who in this world doesn’t carry a bit of baggage with them? However, the moment you allow your baggage to define you, that’s when you’re in trouble. Don’t carry the weight of your past dating failures into your new relationship.
Holding onto to the past isn’t fair to you and it’s definitely not fair to your partner. So do both of you a favor and collect those bags, put them in a bigger bag and set them on the side of the road.
Go outside your usual dating pool. Let’s say you over the past several years you’ve become accustomed to only dating guys who are 6 feet or taller or who work in a certain field, like dentistry, medicine, etc. – why not switch that up and see what happens? Because while it’s easy to stay within your comfort zone, sometimes when things aren’t working you’ve got to get a little uncomfortable to the results you’re seeking.
Try this one out and watch how out of nowhere the entire tenor of your love life changes overnight.
Let’s face it, dating after 30 is no walk in the park! Most of your peers have already gotten hitched, but not you. And while it’s true, the kids you randomly bump into aren’t calling you grandma or grandma yet, once you hit 31, you’re still in an odd transitional period where everyday something reminds you that you’re getting older.
However, the good news is dating doesn’t have to be a negative experience. Especially if you follow the tips we’ve just covered. So, keep this advice in mind and happy swiping.