Being someone’s second choice is never a good feeling. You may feel happy for a short period of time, but it will never be enough to complete the whole inside you. Whatever situation you might be as of the moment, whether you are someone’s second option while he is dating or committed to someone else, it will not do you any good to become his second choice.
Maybe you are already in love with this person and can’t do anything to help yourself walk away from the situation, or perhaps you still think he can get away from his relationship and choose you instead of in the future. Well, you should never settle for less. Love is like a competition where everyone is aiming for the first place. If you know for yourself that your place is next to first, then maybe you can do better next time. You should not settle for anything that makes you a second. No one will ever remember a second prize, and that is you. There will never be a perfect, but you can always worth it to someone meant for you. If you still don’t have many reasons to walk away from being someone’s second choice, then you should read everything we have listed below to make up your mind before it’s too late!
1. You will always feel like you’re not enough.
Imagine you are a dish on the menu of a restaurant that someone you love is about to dine in. He likes to order a beef stake because that is his favorite food of all time, but since it is out of stock, the only option he can order is a fish fillet. No matter how much he likes to eat steak because it is not available as of the moment, so he will settle for the fish fillet. Yes, you are thinking the right thing. You as his second option, you will always be the fish fillet. You will never be his first choice.
Maybe you think that he loves you too and you might probably be right. However, whatever feelings he may have for you, it will never be as intense as to how he is feeling the love with the other person. Because of this, you will always feel like something is missing in you that only other girls can fulfill. It will be a terrible feeling for you to commit yourself to someone who is not even sure about you. Everything you feel will not be as complete as his favorite person.
2. Insecurities will build up in your heart.
Knowing you are a second option, you know for sure that he can’t be entirely in love with you. This will lead to a lot of insecurities about your body and all your ways. Whether you know who is the girl she’s into, you can’t help yourself thinking how perfect she was for him. You are always going to look at yourself in the mirror, trying to improve your flaws for another person. Sometimes you are even turning into someone you are not. You just want to be perfect to fit in and be his first choice.
Remember that you are perfect, even with your flaws. You don’t have to worry about how different you look like to others because you are entirely loved by the right person who can step up the game for you.
3. It will trigger anxiety issues.
Anxiety issues are very hard to battle with. You are just human, and the feeling of not being able to make yourself first in the heart of the person you love is very devastating. You will end up awake at 3 in the morning, thinking about how happy the other person can get in the arms of another. Everything that will cross your mind about the relationship will only stress you out.
You will not be truly happy inside knowing you can’t be replaced because you are the second one in his life. The questions you have in mind will involve things that will make you doubt your self-worth and how you can be confident to face him tomorrow, knowing that he is not really into you. Wouldn’t it be easier for you if you just sleep soundly at night and feel comfortable because you have another day to conquer and find love that is only for you tomorrow? Think it out.
4. You are wasting your time and energy.
Stop wasting your time and don’t wait for him to send you funny I miss you quotes and that he chooses you. If you just listen very well to the advice you get from your friends, you will know they all make sense. It takes a lot of time to involve yourself in a relationship, so make sure you get one that is worth spending time with. Do you think being a second option will help you do better in life? Well, not! You should choose to undergo pain and challenges with someone that works so hard for you to feel loved and enough.
5. You are slowly losing yourself.
You are not just wasting time and energy but will also lose yourself in this whole process. We know that you love to watch movies. Make them an inspiration that as to how many times they have encountered heartbreak being always the rebound of the relationship, you can always hold on to the future that is beautiful and wonderful with the right person. It will only hurt now. But if you invest your time and effort into something new that could work out all for you, the pain you will be feeling now would be nothing.
6. It’s not what you want in a relationship.
Nobody wants to be just the ‘extra’ in a relationship. If you don’t like to be someone’s second option, you should do something. Will you settle yourself to that type of set up forever? Are you willing to feel unworthy throughout your life just because you like the person? You should be number one and nothing else.
If he can’t do it for you, then do it for yourself. Make yourself the number one. You and your feelings should be your priority in life. You want to make a significant change in your life, and you have to start it as soon as possible.
7. You deserve more.
You deserve everything in the world. It doesn’t only end with how one person views you. You deserve every piece of love you can receive from the right person. You just have to wait longer, but it will always be worth the wait. You will never be able to appreciate your whole being if you keep begging for someone else’s love and attention. Don’t make your heart stay sad, but make it glad in time. To make you feel better and realize your worth it, take some time to read inspiring Christian quotes. You are beautiful, and you are worthy to come first on the list. There will always be someone who can’t live without your love, and you should be ready to meet that person instead of getting stuck up to a painful commitment.
Self-worth is everything you have to master before you settle for less. Don’t let anyone ruin your confidence by making you feel like you’re just second best. You are unique because there’s no one like you in this world. And somehow, in the days to come, someone will see that and will show you how the world shines brightly for you!
Scott Zhou is the owner of Ponwell.com. He is an entrepreneur by spirit. Scott likes to share his insights on an array of topics related to relationship, self-improvement, lifestyle and motivation. His recent collection of powerful quotes will showcase the importance of relationship to achieve the goals of living in harmony.