Netflix’s new half-hour comedy, ‘Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt’, is a show that if you haven’t been watching, you really should be. Telling the story of an Indiana woman, Kimmy Schmidt (played by Elle Kemper), who was locked in a bunker for fifteen years and then moves to New York City, you can imagine what sort of crazy plot-lines play out. To celebrate the show’s first season, we rounded up ten memorable and truly laugh out loud quotes from ‘Unbreakable’.
Kimmy Goes to the Doctor
“Absolutely no sun damage, but you’ve clearly experienced a tremendous amount of stress. Are you a coal miner? Submarine captain? Because you have very distinct scream lines. Where did those come from, I wonder.” – Dr. Franff.
Kimmy Not Understanding Drugs
“Are you into Molly?” – Girl at the bar
“Am I?! She’s my favorite American Girl!” – Kimmy
The Wisdom of Titus Andromedon
“I hope one day when you’re a gay black man, you have a Kimmy who treats you like this.” – Titus
Scary Questions
“I’m very scared to ask you this …” – Titus
“Yes. There was weird sex stuff in the bunker.” – Kimmy
Texting Etiquette from Kimmy
“It’s a photo of a man’s penis. I read that people text them to each other.” – Kimmy
Delivery Boy Wisdoms
“Delivering Chinese food all day can be depressing. Like when people yell out ‘Food’s here!’ as if they have a family, but I know they are alone.” – Dong
Hashtag Problems
“Hashbrown, no filter” – Kimmy
Logan on His British Accent
“I’m from Connecticut, but my parents insisted all the children learn British. I didn’t speak a word of American until I arrived at college, bro.” – Logan
The Secret to a Strong Marriage
“My first wife turned 50.” – Julian
“I know. And I would never do that to you.” – Jacqueline
Sick Burn, Kimmy Style
“1996 called. It wants its clothes back.” – Xanthippe
“2090 called. You’re dead and you wasted your time on Earth.” – Kimmy
